By LOIS KINDLE
Memorial Day and Veterans Day both honor military service, but they serve distinct purposes. Memorial Day is a time to remember and pay tribute to those who lost their lives in service to the country, especially those who fell in combat. It’s a solemn occasion marked by ceremonies and moments of reflection.
Veterans Day, on the other hand, celebrates all who served honorably, both living and deceased, recognizing their dedication and contributions. Unlike Memorial Day’s focus on remembrance, Veterans Day is observed with parades, speeches and special celebrations to express gratitude.
Gold Star dad Kris Hager, of Parrish, and Gold Star mother Kelly Kowall, of Ruskin, both lost sons serving in the Army during wars overseas. They urge everyone to learn the true meaning of Memorial Day to honor and remember them and all others who died representing the United States and freedom.
Understanding the difference between these two holidays is especially important to members of Gold Star families who’ve lost loved ones in the line of duty.
Gold Star dad Kris Hager, of Parrish, lost his son, Army Staff Sgt. Joshua Hager, in February 2007, when the young soldier’s Humvee was blown up in Iraq.
He said one of the people who really helped him bear his loss was Congressman Vern Buchanan, who enabled him to place the first wreath at Sarasota National Cemetery when it opened.
“The first two Memorial Day ceremonies I attended were totally appropriate, but during the third one –when a new person was in charge — a couple’s son coming home from the military surprised his parents, Hager said. “I didn’t know how to process that. It was truly painful. Those people’s son came home; mine didn’t.
“Since then I generally stay home on Memorial Day,” he said.
Gold Star mother Kelly Kowall lost her son, Army Spec. Corey J. Kowall, in September 2009 after he succumbed to injuries sustained during a vehicle rollover in Afghanistan. She fully understands Hager’s pain.
“The fallen never die until they’re forgotten,” Kowall said. “Memorial Day is a day to remember them, and to do otherwise diminishes their sacrifice and is extremely hurtful to Gold Star families. It’s one day out of 365 when our loved ones are remembered, and they’re honored for their ultimate sacrifice.”
Memorial Day became a national holiday in 1971 when Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act. It’s observed annually on the last Monday of May and will take place this year on May 26.
The tradition started after the Civil War as Decoration Day as a way for people to pay tribute to fallen soldiers by adorning their graves with flowers and wreaths. Over time, it became a day of remembrance for all service members who had died while serving.
People across the country commemorate Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries, attending parades and participating in ceremonies paying homage to the fallen and others who died while serving the nation, including, for example, the National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m.
“It’s a collective day of loss,” said Air Force Veteran Lance Hartmann, a former medic who has served 21 years as a Veterans Administration nurse and is still working. “You would never say, ‘Happy Pearl Harbor Day’ or ‘Happy 9/11 Day’, yet people have actually said to me, ‘Happy Memorial Day.’”
Hartmann understood their hearts were in the right place, even if their understanding of the holiday was amiss.
LOIS KINDLE PHOTOS
Air Force veteran Lance Hartmann, a former Army medic, and his wife, former Army truck driver Karidad Ramos-Hartmann, hold a 1988 painting by Lee Teter, which they feel truly represents the ongoing loss and pain Gold Star families feel for loved ones lost in combat, especially on Memorial Day.
“Memorial Day is a day of remembrance, a day of togetherness,” added his wife Karidad Ramos-Hartmann, a former Army truck driver and retired mental health counselor. “It’s a day of comfort, solace and support for all who survived the death of those who were actively serving in the military when they passed and a day to be aware of the ultimate sacrifices these men and women made, which gave us the freedom to continue life in their honor.”
Kowall says more education is needed.
For example, a local funeral home recently distributed a flier with the words, “Memorial Day Celebration” and “flag placement for our Veterans’ graves.” After Kelly called to point out the error, the man in charge of Veterans outreach immediately had the flier changed to read “Memorial Day Remembrance of the Fallen” and “flag placement for fallen heroes.” He replaced the old fliers with new ones and notified his company’s national office to ensure the establishment of a new protocol going forward.
“It’s so important we understand this because Memorial Day is being erased by people confusing it with Veteran’s Day,” Kowall said. “I hear this all the time, especially from Gold Star families.”