CHAMBER NEWS & VIEWS No is an acceptable answer

Lynne Conlan is executive director of the South Hillsborough Chamber of Commerce. Call her at 813-634-5111, or email lynne@southhillschamber.com.
No. It’s such a little word, but it is tough to utter in certain circumstances. “We have an instinctive need for connection to other people—it’s essential to our survival. We worry that saying ‘no’ will break these bonds,” according to Vanessa Bohns, Ph.D., a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. We’re concerned that the other person will feel rejected or take that “no” personally. “Saying ‘no’ stirs up intensely negative emotions—embarrassment and guilt,” says Bohns.
So, sometimes it is easier to say “yes,’ even when “no” is the answer you want to give. And sometimes you feel that not answering at all is even better. We’ve got to figure this out: “yes,” “no” or nothing. I’ve been told by every boss I’ve ever had in every sales job I’ve ever held that I should never take “no” for an answer. Never. Of course, I argued. You know me. I’ve known most of my customers pretty well. I knew when their “no’s” were appropriate for whatever reason – wrong fit for them, too high of a price point, seasonal issues. Sometimes, “no” isn’t the easy answer. I hate telling people “no.” It’s more fun being the “yes” person, a.k.a., people pleaser.
But some “no’s” are easy. That’s the case with robocalls. I don’t think any of us ever hesitates. The answer is always “no” – and take me off your list. I do not want to extend the warranty on a car I no longer own. And I will not send money for my granddaughter’s bail since she doesn’t exist. And I don’t think I won the lottery in Zimbabwe, no matter what that “nice” man says in that random good news email. So, use your “no’s” carefully. While that “no” can be discouraging for a salesperson, it’s not the end of the world.
Sometimes, giving “no” as your answer is actually best. Just say, the chamber is calling you to help with something. Of course, we’d love if you said “yes.” Just say it’s something like helping with our golf classic coming up on October 15. We’re looking for golfers, hole sponsors, event sponsors, raffle prizes. So, what if I called or e-mailed you about that, just saying? If you can help with this major chamber fund raiser, we’d be thankful. But what if you just don’t want to or cannot, for whatever reason. So, just tell me “no.” Because at this point, we getting close to our event, and I’m working the phones and sending out emails with my hair on fire. So, in this case, if your answer is “no,” I need to know so I can move on to the rest of my list. The bottom line is “no” is an answer. An answer it’s ok to use, especially for that nice man in Zimbabwe who told me in his most recent e-mail that he’s also a prince. Isn’t that special.