CHAMBER NEWS & VIEWS

Understanding disappointment

Before our worlds came crashing down last March, I’m sure there were lots of things you had planned. They were on the calendar. Written in stone. Yes, we’ve all heard the joke: What’s the most useless thing you have lying around the house? Your 2020 calendar. But we saw light at the end of the tunnel as we rang in the new year.

But now that we’re here, we’re tending to find a new year, same problems. Facing a global pandemic, an economic downturn and a holiday season without the usual traditions, it’s understandable that we may feel a sense of disappointment in the first month of 2021.

After all, the start of a new year usually promises the bright new future ahead. 2021 is here and nothing much seems to have changed. It’s normal to feel sad about the plans you’ve had to cancel over the past year. There’s so much we cannot control these days, but there are ways to manage your feelings of disappointment.

According to relationship consultant Janice Presser, “Understanding disappointment is the first step to mastering its unpleasant side effects. We’re all disappointed when our expectations aren’t met, no matter what they are. And that’s where our real power is — our expectations are within our own control, even when our external circumstances are not.”

So how do we make sure we aren’t making things even worse for ourselves going forward? Stop blaming yourselves and – here comes that word again – pivot. We need to readjust our expectations.

We’re all pretty good about dealing with disappointment – one disappointment at a time. We let it go like water off a duck’s back. But now that that one disappointment is adding up to, well, everything, it’s not as easy to ignore. Just remember, we are living in unprecedented times so there is no normal to cling to. Unmet expectations are starting to stack up. But let’s not let disappointment overtake everything in our lives.

Our biggest problem is we don’t know when this all will end! No timeline to abide by.  According to Dove Pressnall, MA, a licensed marriage and family therapist, “I see people set plans for themselves, assuming the pandemic will be over and then being disappointed over and over. A balance of realism and optimism — being able to see our challenges and losses with clear eyes, while at the same time holding the belief that we will get through and be ‘alright’ in the end — lets us make better decisions in the moment without getting too caught up in our current difficulties or future plans.”

To stave off our disappointment at having to postpone some of our signature events until a later time, the chamber is once again giving it the pivot. Last week, Lois Kindle told you about our March Four-Leaf Clover challenge in March which will feature our new website and our member businesses. But first in February, we’re staging the Big Heart Challenge to direct foot traffic to some member businesses. Take a look at page 1 for details. No timeline for normalcy? Let’s just keep on keeping on. We’ve got this.

Lynne Conlan is Executive Director of the South Hillsborough Chamber of Commerce. Call her at 813-634-5111, or email lynne@southhillschamber.com.