Almost human?

By “KARMEL”

My life used to be pretty dependable, but the last few months some strange things have happened to me, and until I got to go on vacation, I was beginning to think maybe my human didn’t love me anymore.

For one thing, Grammy — that’s my human’s name — took away all my favorite foods.

I used to get nice big bowls of chunky canned meat mixed with some dry crunchy pieces and treats that looked like little bones. Grammy called them “cookies” but I knew they weren’t really cookies because the little human that lives in the house with us gives me cookies all the time behind Grammy’s back.

Grammy also stopped giving me table scraps. Oh, how I used to love those. Pieces of chewy meat, bread, even pieces off the edges of the little human’s sandwiches are yummy-yum good.

I couldn’t figure out why the humans suddenly stopped giving me these wonderful-tasting things and instead just gave me a small bowl of some dry mealy-stuff from a bag.

Then one day I heard someone say if I didn’t lose weight I wouldn’t get to live much longer.

Well, that made me realize my human was just doing what she’d always done — taking good care of me.

Like 12 years ago, when the first humans I lived with gave all my babies away and then said I was going to have to go to Death Row.  I heard them say it was because I was sick with something called heartworms.

Now I don’t know where Death Row is, but it didn’t sound like anybody was happy about me going there, so I was really glad that Grammy and her little human came to the place I was living and took me home.

When they first got there, Grammy sat down on the floor and I put my head in her lap and stared at her and sent my thoughts to her with my eyes. She must have understood dog-telepathy because right then she told the people I was living with she wanted to take me home!

Since then, most of my days have been pretty much the same. I play in my yard or in the house and sleep on the floor at the foot of Grammy’s bed.

Every morning, Grammy sits on the couch in the living room wrapped in her soft, red blanket and drinks something from a big cup that smells just wonderful. But once she set it down, and I stuck my tongue in it and it burned like fire. I hope her insides don’t burn up from it, because she drinks it every day. Maybe her insides are tougher than mine.

Most of the time I’m alone during the day, so I try and talk to squirrels and rabbits when they come in the yard, and I’d do just about anything to get them to stay and play with me, but they never do. Maybe they’re afraid of me because I’m so big.

Once in a while, a human friend of Grammy’s stays with me for a day or two when my humans go somewhere, and that’s okay because they’re always nice to me, but nothing’s ever the same as being with my family. Except maybe vacation.

I think it was about 20 full moons ago when I first went to Doggie Camp. My first week at camp was at Camp Bow Wow, and I had a real good time. The next time I stayed away from home, I stayed at my doctor’s in the same building where I get my hair trimmed and my nails cut and sometimes get a special kind of bath. They’re nice to me there, but it isn’t like going to camp.

Two weeks ago, I was told Grammy had to go to someplace called New York City. Then I heard she was spending a week in Oklahoma after that! I’d never heard of either of those places but I knew right away by the things she was taking out of the closet they were far away, and she was going to be gone a long time.

I got real scared because I didn’t know what was going to happen to me while she was gone.

When I saw her putting my bowl and big chew bone in the car, I got very nervous, especially when we pulled into a place I’d never been before.

I looked around, and heard dogs talking, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying because they were too far away.

Then a human came out and opened a big sliding gate, and Grammy pulled the car inside. Oh no, she put the leash on my collar, so I knew I was supposed to stay right with her.

I usually don’t use a leash except when I go to the park or the beach because I run around in my backyard and don’t walk on the sidewalks like some dogs do.

I saw a sign, but I couldn’t read it, so I listened very carefully to the humans while they were talking.

We walked past a house and through another gate to a house — oh my gosh,  it was a house built for dogs! There were pictures of dogs on the walls of the bedrooms and little gates across each room to separate the dogs — they called us “guests” there, and I felt really very special.

I got scared, though, when Grammy first left me, but very shortly after that I was shown that I had my own room and Grammy had left her blanket and favorite nightgown for me to lie on just like we do in the morning on the couch when she drinks that hot stuff and I get to put my head in her lap.

Not used to playing with others except once in a while at the beach or the park, I wondered at first when the humans in charge — I think their names were Sharon and Shirley — took me outside. I wasn’t wearing a leash, so I didn’t think I had to stay with them. They stayed by the house while I walked around the yard. I wondered if it was all right to go anywhere I liked. So, slowly, I made my way from one corner to the other. Nobody yelled at me. In fact, they were saying go ahead, Karmel, it’s all right to run around.

I wasn’t really sure what they were saying because I don’t know a lot of human words, but I do know the tone of voice that says it’s okay to play. So I started by sniffing everything and licking things to see how they tasted.

Then the most surprising thing happened. One by one, other dogs came outside to play with me. I wasn’t sure if they’d like me. After all, I am half Beagle and half Bassett hound, and I didn’t look like any of them. Some were a little bigger than me, and some a little smaller, but I noticed the first day that those of us who were about the same size got to play with each other — if we got along all right.

One by one, they came out to play with me, until there was a group of us who played together every day. There was Cassie and Cocoa and Rocky and Thunder. They were so much fun! Cassie and I even had a sleepover a couple of nights, and there was always a human around, although they never seemed to have to do anything but watch us play.

Once I heard the humans talking and saying we were all very social. I wondered what social was, but whatever it is, it must be good because everyone smiled every time they said it.

Those of us who weren’t social liked to stay by themselves, and didn’t come in the yard with us at the same time.

I thought the dogs who weren’t social were really missing out on a good time, and that was pretty strange. Almost as strange as the fact that some dogs like to sleep in a cage at night. I can’t imagine liking that, but I heard one human say it made them feel safe.

I’m always safe. I’ve heard those words a lot of times and I know that means to be loved and taken care of. There was this special woman named Robin who came to play with us and she made me feel so good! She took pictures of me like Grammy sometimes does, and she said she was going to send them to Grammy that night on the computer.

Everybody knows my Grammy spends most of the time at her computer because she makes the money for our food and house and everything that way, so I knew she’d see my pictures right away.

Robin took pictures of me playing with the others, but she said her favorite was when I rolled over on my back and scooted around with my belly-side up. Well, if she liked it that much, I thought I should just keep doing it, so that’s just what I did.
I found out that the humans who run the guest house for dogs call it Canine Cottage at All About Paws. I think that’s a funny name — All About Paws — because it isn’t all about paws, it’s all about dogs.

I don’t even know what paws are!

The time flew by kind of the same way it did back when I stayed at Camp Bow Wow.  I think it’s great that we have such fine vacation spots for dogs here. I wondered if my human had anywhere near as nice a vacation as I did.

I know I liked meeting all the other dogs. Maybe I’ll see some of them again at the park or the beach. Until then, I think I’ll just enjoy my life here at home with my family. I just wish Grammy hadn’t washed the smell of my new friends off her soft red blanket and favorite nightgown right away so I could still smell them, but for some strange reason, the blanket and nightgown now smell like flowers again. Humans are so strange sometimes. I don’t know why Grammy would rather smell like flowers than like my new-found friends!

** Thanks to Sharon Roberts and Shirley Maloof of Canine Cottage at All About Paws and Robin Roberts of Critter Mama Rescue for the information that helped Karmel write her first story.

Grammy