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Positive Talk
 It has been said, “Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.”
How are you at handling conflicts in this age of change? The person who can handle conflicts well will ultimately rise to a position of leadership. He or she will always be in demand. For the most part, we learn to react to conflict one of two ways very early in our lives. Then we tend to react in the same way regardless of the type of conflict. We either avoid the conflict situation completely, or it becomes a bell that takes us into the ring swinging. The truth is that there are five basic conflict management methods, none of which is applicable to every situation, but every situation can be handled by one of them. Knowing that a method exists gives us the opportunity to make a conscious choice whether to use it or not. The five conflict management methods are:
Avoidance—This method is effective when staying out of the conflict will allow the parties to calm down. It is also effective when the situation may be temporary and solve itself in the long run. However, to avoid a situation that will not go away is to only postpone the clash.
Accommodation—This method should be used when you feel that the other party’s goal is more important than yours. You concede control to the other individual. In both the avoidance and accommodation modes, you can be left feeling cheated and victimized, therefore, they should be used sparingly. On the other hand, it is unrealistic to believe that one should always get his or her own way.
Competition—If the needs of two parties are in direct conflict and there is no room for accommodation, then competition becomes the only answer. Each party exerts whatever force is necessary to achieve his or her goal. Competition can be good. It can be healthy. If it is done in an unfair manner, however, it can cause long and lasting scars.
Compromise—Here, both parties settle for less than what they started out to get. Both must be satisfied with achieving a portion of their goal. This has been described as win win negotiating. I am not convinced that this is truly win win, since both parties, even though they win something, must concede something. There can be a lingering resentment of what had to be given up.
Collaboration—This is my favorite method of conflict management. The conflicting parties work together to fulfill the desires of all parties. In other words, I’ll help you get what you want if you will help me get what I want. In my opinion, this is the true win win conflict management method and the one that will leave the fewest hard feelings.
When you are faced with a conflict, recognize that there are more options than running or fighting. Each of these options has its place, and each can be valuable when used properly.
Hodges Hosts Television Program
Bill Hodges also hosts an interview-format television program, which has been renamed “Spotlight On Tampa Bay.” It airs Mondays at 8 p.m., Bright House cable channel 950 and Verizon cable channel 30. His guests for June 23 will be State Attorney for Hillsborough’s 13th judicial district, Mark Ober, who will give us a glimpse into the workings of the State Attorney’s office. This program will be repeated on Wednesday, June 25, at 7:30 p.m. on Bright House channel 949.
Appearing on Monday, June 30, is State Representative Darryl Ervin Rouson. Representative Rouson, a Democrat, will give us an insight into the happenings during the last session of the Florida State Legislature from a minority party viewpoint. The program will be repeated Wednesday, July 2, at 7:30 p.m. on Bright House channel 949.
It should be noted that Bright House subscribers who cannot get the higher channels can get—at no installation fee and a monthly one dollar fee—a box to allow access to the upper level government and educational channels. Call Bright House for details on the rental. If you are unhappy about having to pay extra to see your government in action, complain to your state representatives and the Hillsborough BOCC which have either caused this situation or been complicit in allowing it to continue.
Bill Hodges is a nationally recognized speaker, trainer, and
syndicated columnist. Hodges may be reached at Hodges Seminars
International, P.O. Box 89033, Tampa, FL 33689-0400. Phone 813/641-0816.
Web site: http://www.BillHodges.com
Copyright 2008 Hodges Seminars International
© Copyright 2008 by The
Observer
News Publications and M&M Printing Company, Inc.
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