Holiday Travel Not For The Light Hearted...or Heavy Footed

During the Memorial Day weekend, traffic and crowds were everywhere in the Keys.

Most of the country, and perhaps most of the world, views the Florida Keys as a playground. It is America’s Caribbean and best of all, you can drive there. Well, sort of.

There is only one way in and one way out of the Keys. U.S. Highway 1 is a ribbon of concrete stretching along a chain of islands that culminates at Mile Marker 0 in Key West. At speeds often averaging less than eight miles per hour, bicyclers or even runners may have had the advantage on cars, however.

On Saturday, the lone roadway to paradise was temporarily closed due to a fatal traffic accident. The rumors flew down the Keys far faster than the automobile traffic ever could that someone decided to cut their life short while driving.

Although there were likely more than a few tourists and locals entertaining thoughts of ending the traffic nightmare by running headlong into a tractor-trailer, through intent or accident, this driver did just that. At press time, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office had no comment on the suicide rumors.

On Sunday, a heavy line of traffic culminated in yet another Sheriff’s Office blockade. U.S. 1 was again closed due to a fatal traffic accident. According to the deputy at the blockade, "the road would re-open in two or three hours."

The big concern, however, became where would the thousands of tourists go with two to three hours to kill? The doors were, of course, open in the bars and restaurants of nearby Marathon. Hopefully the delay wouldn’t create the need for more road closures.

Of course the traffic wasn’t the end of the story. At any hour of the day or night long lines could be found at fast food places and tourist bars.

The key to the Keys, of course, is to avoid all of that all together.

For any weekend visit, particularly a holiday weekend, leave early, park the car and throw your car keys into the ocean.

Of course, before you do that, make sure that you have a place to stay off the beaten path. Even in the Playground of America, that is not only possible, it is relatively easy.

In Key West, it is becoming more difficult to get away from it all but it can be done. The first thing to do is avoid Duval Street like the plague. Just a few blocks off that fabled main drag lie neighborhoods and quiet businesses that are more than happy to see you if you don’t act like an obnoxious tourist. Give it a shot, go for a walk and you will likely meet some, well, more colorful people than you’d typically encounter in south Hillsborough county.

Get off the main drag and seek adventure in a no-name motel or guest house, there are many available and most don’t advertise. You just have to find them yourself. The prices will be lower and the mood far more relaxed and you may well get to experience nature through the many crowing roosters who seem bent on performing at all hours of the night.

While their performance may be quirky and even enjoyable for a few seconds, don’t think about hunting them down and relocating them to someone else’s no-name motel. That is illegal in Key West.

Of course the roosters may also explain why there is more stuff happening on Duval Street at two in the morning than there is at two in the afternoon: People aren’t able to get much sleep.

It is possible, perhaps even likely that the U.S. 1 traffic nightmare may make it impossible for you to travel the 100 miles to Key West. Not to worry, however, because the Middle and Upper Keys contain numerous places to visit off the tourist track.

In Marathon for example, during the "two or three hours" that U.S. 1 was closed, the Sombrero Marina became a quiet oasis from the sunburned tourist horde.

A Diet Coke at the marina’s bar helped quiet the nerves of too much traffic and provided a beautiful view of the harbor and an enlightening insight into the lives of the locals.

Most of the people at Sombrero Marina can’t be held responsible for the mass of traffic just a few blocks away, most of the people there don’t even own cars.

The marina is a focal point for sailors and cruisers living in Marathon’s Boot Key Harbor. Some are just passing through, some are long-time residents but they all end up at marina’s bar at one time or another.

People who don’t drive don’t worry about traffic and their attitude quickly becomes contagious. Maybe the weekend should be spent right there listening to live music and letting the blood pressure drop. Sure most of clientele may need a haircut and a few could use a shower but at least there are no shirtless, sunburned, overweight midwestern twenty year olds screaming loudly and spilling their beer on you.

Cruisers would never waste their beer by spilling it on you.

Establishments like Sombrero Marina may be found in countless places throughout the Keys. Getting out of the traffic, seperating from the herd and kicking back with the locals will go a long way towards preventing thoughts of escape through the grill of a Peterbilt truck.

It is still possible to find a quiet place and enjoy the beauty of the Florida Keys. The key to the Keys is to get out of traffic and away from the crowd

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