My ‘Do Not Buy’ list

Published on: January 9, 2019

Chamber News & Views

One perk to it being the end of the holiday season, is that the “giving” part is over. Seriously. At some point either your generosity or your credit card limit hits a wall. While it may be more blessed to give than to receive, both giving and receiving can take you down a very slippery slope from which there can be dire consequences.

Let’s break it down. First the pact. You and your BFF decide no gifts this year. Ha Ha. He gets you the gift you’ve been drooling over. And you got him nothing, as your Christmas pact dictated. Oh, boy.

The overspender is always a favorite. What are they trying to prove? You get them a black plastic pocket comb. Aww, come on. Everybody needs one. They get you an exercise bike, new boots, and dinner at your favorite restaurant. Hum. Now how does that make you feel, cheapskate?

And the inappropriate guy. I honestly don’t want or need a life-sized cutout of Elvis. Yes, he was the king. But he has no place in my family room. Plus, he scares the cats.

And, of course, there’s the guy or gal who has everything. They always put your holiday buying spree into a little bit of a tailspin. You can’t get them something mundane like you would bestow upon other mere mortals. Good luck.

Every year, I try to help my gifters. I just get down and dirty and let them know exactly what I want and, as importantly, what I don’t want so there can be no mistakes. While the Christmas season is done, remember Valentine’s Day, Easter and my birthday are all upcoming. So here is my “do not get me” list for the year.

Do not get me T-shirts with cute little sayings on the front. I don’t think chests were meant to be read.

Do not get me anything that requires assembly. I can’t understand simple instructions, and I will resent you for making me feel inadequate.

Anything DIY. It’s a big N.O. Just thinking about the tiny tools involved and all that crafty talk makes me sleepy — or one of the other seven dwarfs.

If you have to beat it, baste it, whip it, broil it — it ain’t for me. I haven’t been in my kitchen since Easter 1982. And that didn’t end well. I knew dinner was done when the fire department showed up. 

Well, you better get crackin’ on your “do not give me” list. There’s gotta be some major holiday right around the corner. Hope you enjoy it.

Lynne Conlan is Executive Director of the Sun City Center Area Chamber of Commerce. Call her at 813-634-5111, or email lynne@sccchamber.com.

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