Generational hurts
By Christina Olka
Freedom Director, South Bay Church, christina@southbay.cc
When you put my mother and me in the same room, many people can point out that we are related. There are many features that we share. However, when I am pictured next to my father the resemblance is overwhelming. There is no way that I belong to the milkman. I am an Olka through and through.
Traits are passed down from one generation to the next. Eye color, face shape, even stature or mannerisms all follow our descendants. This is not new information, but modern psychology has tried to identify why this happens with more than just our physical appearance. Children separated from their parents still can walk, talk, or move like their biological parents. Health, mental health, behaviors and even thinking behaviors seem to have a line linked to our descendants.
Far more significant than physical traits, wounds and hurt can be passed down from one generation to the other. Favoritism, fear, unrealistic extortions, verbal abuse, or even emotional distance are traits that follow family lines. Words or hurts from the past have a way of repeating their cycle if we are not intentionally focused to stop the pattern.
Healing from these types of wounds require that you begin to rewrite the story. Cutting off generational patterns that wound is possible. Below are the three R’s to help you heal:
1. Recognize that what has happened to you is not who you are. Wounds that have occurred in your family line, and hurts that have been passed on, do not have the ability to claim your identity.
2. Reject the victim identity. Owning the victim role will keep you paralyzed and enslaved to the pattern when there is freedom from the wounds.
3. Resolve that you do not have to repeat history. The pattern can stop with you. You can adopt new ways of thinking and behaving.
Keep the biology; adopt a new parenting.
Walking out the three R’s listed can look differently for everyone. But the principle remains the same. You can have both biological and adopted parents. I can remain an Olka biologically and adopt a new parenting that says I will not repeat the mistakes of my ancestors. Resolve to change history … let it start with you.
Freedom teaching: “Breaking Barriers” is the new theme at Freedom Ministry every Monday night from 6:30 to 8 p.m., through Nov. 21 at South Bay Church, 13498 U.S. 301 S., Riverview. Join the group for teaching and small-group focus to break down the barriers to living a free life. To learn more about the Freedom Ministry or South Bay Church, visit southbay.cc, or livemyfreedom.com.
