October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
It was the American Dream come true. “Carla” had married the perfect man who wanted her to stay home and raise a family while he worked, oversaw their finances and made all the difficult decisions for them. After a short time, her husband’s true colors emerged. His possessiveness and demands kept “Carla” isolated from family and friends and questioning her own abilities. When the kids started school and she considered working outside the home, it was the beginning of a downward spiral. “Carla” removed herself and children from the abuse. Her only hope was to find a job and rebuild her confidence. It seemed impossible.
The word “impossible” is not in the vocabulary at Mary & Martha House. This emergency shelter in Ruskin for abused and homeless women and their children has thousands of success stories.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month — symbolized by a purple ribbon — and Mary & Martha House wants to bring that awareness to the community and specifically to the women who have lost hope.
All across the United States there is a “Carla” (like the fictional one above) who musters the courage to leave an abusive situation and start life over.
Too often, women remain in a dangerous situation simply because they have lost confidence in their own ability to function away from their abuser.
Without job experience or a résumé, how is it possible to be an appealing candidate to an employer?
Employment Readiness
One answer is the Employment Readiness program at Mary & Martha House.
Immediately after entering the shelter, caseworkers do individual assessments on all residents.
“Women who are victims of domestic violence face more obstacles than the average job seeker,” said Theresa Benitez, senior case manager at Mary & Martha House. “Abuse, whether physical or emotional, can instill a feeling of worthlessness that destroys confidence.”
A caring staff looks for hidden skills and talents that have been overlooked or forgotten because the woman doesn’t recognize her own value.
To many of the clients’ surprise, they have a wealth of transferrable skills that can build a résumé or meet a potential employer’s needs.
Today’s job market has changed dramatically. Most applications are submitted online, and because of economic downturns over the past few years, the competition for jobs has increased. For a woman who has been out of the workforce, these are foreign concepts.
“Support comes from job coaching and mock interviews to suggestions on dressing appropriately for an interview,” says Denise Reiter of the housing and employment department at Mary & Martha House. “Each woman is different. One woman may need communication skills training, while another needs help with social skills. We identify the need and work from there, case by case.”
Companies throughout Hillsborough County partner with the shelter by alerting its staff of job openings. The local community has played a huge role in supporting those seeking jobs in the immediate area.
“We also offer in-house skills training,” says Jan Falcione, manager of retail and marketing at Mary & Martha House. “Our thrift stores offer an opportunity for women to work in retail. They learn merchandising, inventory, customer service and more. We use a module called Retail Training 101. We teach skills that can be transferred to any job setting.”
Falcione was a district manager for Levi Strauss for 25 years. She oversees Mary & Martha House’s two thrift stores.
The Rose Boutique, at 100 E. Shell Point Road, Ruskin, is one of those stores. It offers new and donated women’s clothing, accessories, shoes and more.
When a woman enters the program she can shop for whatever she needs. If a job interview requires a suit or professional apparel, those items are available … from head to toe. The same is true if the job is in a more casual atmosphere.
The Mary & Martha House Thrift Store at 1009 1st St. SW, Ruskin, offers donated furniture, clothing, housewares and more.
Both stores are open to the public, and all proceeds return to the Mary & Martha House program.
Save and Grow Solutions
The Save and Grow Solutions program teaches budgeting to the women who have a financial obstacle. Once a client is employed, she is coached on paying bills on a budget, starting a savings account, purchasing transportation, and the ultimate goal of securing permanent housing and being free of any government assistance.
Each woman is guided through pulling her own credit report to see what may be preventing her financial progress. Many times she is unaware of the damage caused by a spouse who opens joint accounts and defaults on payments.
Support for the children
The children of residents at Mary & Martha House also benefit from programs. The focus is always on maintaining family stability, which is achieved by giving mothers a voice and the courage to set an example. One way is through Behavioral Bucks. Mothers set the guidelines for what they expect from their children. It may be improvements in school grades, chores completed that were assigned by the mother, reading a designated number of books, or exemplary behavior, etc. The mother reports her child’s progress to her caseworker, who distributes the Bucks as an incentive.
This program gives the mother control and the dignity of being able to reward her child. The Bucks can be used for gift cards or a shopping trip.
Tutoring is available for children of all ages. Many teachers from local schools volunteer and are on call whenever there is a need.
Whatever the need
Mary & Martha House has decades of knowledge on directing clients to outside services such as legal aid, transportation through HARTline bus passes, spiritual counseling, child-care solutions, etc.
For more information on Mary & Martha House, visit marymarthahouse.org or call 813-645-7874.
Next week: Success.